Description: A computer game where the player can build and manage his or her own farm with livestock.
Player Report: After countless hours of relentless aural bombardment, I have painfully concluded that the musical theme for Farmville was composed by a Transmanian expatriate / Cosmosexual-Serial Killer!
Furthermore... the ever-popular Pattypan Squash has been tainted with an Agent Orange residue... The genetically altered Daffodils have a sterilizing pollen that is hazardous to Honey production and Bee populations respectively.
Re: Livestock & Critters
The rabid sheep and carnivorous baby-pink pigs are in actuality, four-legged Porn Stars and Suicide Bombers in training. The Chicken Coop is the neighborhood Crack House and the zombiesque Avatars are ex-80's (certifiably brain dead) Club Kids.
Although not scientifically based, my findings are the result of controlled, user observations and electronic monitoring... The occasional use of cattle prods was a clinical incentive provided by other video game manufacturers.
In conclusion: This application is curiously addictive and time consuming. The user will find that maintaining a virtual farm (as in real life), is not as easy task without the assistance of others.
For the young... there are clearly positive Life Lessons to be considered in the Farmville experience.
For those of an adult age... the application is a reasonable substitute for intellectual masturbation. It can serve as a brief interlude when working long hours online or as a communication tool in lieu of a common language . . .
